I found a video today of my soon to be ex-husband telling me he loves me.
It made me instantly tear up because I remember when he looked at me with such affection. He is definitely not that same man and I miss that man.The man I am getting right now, through this divorce, is definitely not the one that married me.
Nobody really teaches you how to love or even how to end love. Though he and I are cordial, I don't want to be his friend. I want to be his life mate, his partner, his travel companion, like how we have been for the last thirteen years. I am the definition of ride-or-die chick. Even now, I am still down for him. The adventures we have had together is enough to fill a lifetime. I can only imagine all the things we could do in the future and how powerful we could be together.
A friend of mine called me late one night to ask me how I was doing. She was watching my posts on Facebook and wondered what was going on with me. When I told her that we had already completed divorce proceedings, she was floored. She told me that he and I were the couple that she wanted to emulate in her relationship. The way he and I worked together to get the things we wanted always amazed her. She admired us, wanted to be like us, and was so sad that we were calling it quits. She is not the first person to mention this to me. And I get it.
The thing is, he and I have had such a great relationship. Up until six months ago, we really were a power couple that loved each other. I can count several things that led to our demise but can't pin point exactly which one sealed our fate. I can only wish good things for him and that one day he will look back on our relationship with fond appreciation. I am misty-eyed now when I think of all of our happy times. I will miss him all the days of my life.