
When was the last time you remember being truly inspired?
When was the last time you charged boldly into unchartered territory?
Each of us find a way to exist in the circumstances we are born into. We all learn to fit in. We become the person we were trained to be. And yet, a good portion of us are called to other paths, to places both figuratively and literally, that take us far outside of the boundaries that were imposed upon us. Some of us answer the call and charge boldly and courageously into uncharted territory. Others recoil and shrink back into the person they were trained to be.
I used to feel so conflicted about the girl I was trained to be through family rearing, cultural conditioning, and religious influence versus the woman I am becoming. I am always in a state of becoming.
One of my greatest fears is that I remain ordinary, stuck in "the template" of same-ness. At the same time, I fear being so different than "the template" that the people I know and love ostracize me for living a life less ordinary. How does one navigate the conflicting views?
The answer came to me so clearly, in a moment of meditation. Rather than allow fear to drive me, I must move confidently in the direction that calls me. The most difficult thing thus far has been undoing the ME that I created to exist in the small pond that I was born to. I felt so suffocated by the proverbial "narrow way that leadeth to life." How could the way be narrow or singular in a universe that is infinitely expanding. My heart, my soul, my spirit craves expansion.
Religious influence placed large borders on just how far I could expand. Why is curiosity discouraged? Why is seeking further light and knowledge frowned upon?
5 If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him. 6 But let him ask in faith, nothing wavering. For he that wavereth is like a wave of the sea driven with the wind and tossed. (James 1:5-6)
Philosophies that have changed the world are built upon a single person who has exercised courage and strength to stand on their new light and knowledge. Enough so much so that he or she moved masses of people to believe and to act upon their belief.
We wait for some catalyst in life to reinvent ourselves. For me, it started with a divorce 8+ years ago. It set me on a path to reinvent, to rediscover, to consciously build an improved ME, to create the life I want rather than react to my circumstances. What I have uncovered is that I don't need a cataclysmic event to change and build upon ME. I can push my known boundaries by allowing new things and new experiences into my awareness. I welcome the adventure!
All of this discovery and reinvention does not come without a price. I grieve the life I was trained to want because I know that the result may be the loss of dear friends and family who cannot understand or accept my ever changing philosophy. I know that my road is not one that others would choose for themselves. I grieve the old ME that fades with the growth of the BECOMING ME.... the ME that craves for adventure and expansion. As I have expanded, I realize that I can NEVER go back to the boundaries that I had before.
I want to live a life on purpose - to be inspired by the world around me and the light inside of me. And as I charge boldly into new and expanding experiences, I do so with all the curiosity my little soul can hold.
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