Updated: Feb 10, 2022
I think it was his age that allowed him to fully see the depth of my soul. Oddly, I'm convinced that it was my age that chased him away.
My soul runs deep. It sounds so cliche, so worn out, so used. And yet he understood it. I miss that.
The hours and days have run into months and years and we've both moved in different directions. And I'm in a good place - better than I've ever been before. I have learned to balance my spiritual self with the other dimensions of me. That, above all else, has been most rewarding.
Yet sometimes, way too often, I long for depth. For someone to truly understand who I am and what makes me tick. Someone who is able to see right into the heart of me and know, just know, without me saying a word.
The only one who ever did, I will probably never have the occasion to speak to again. Most of my friends cannot see how many different facets there are to me. i still discover them daily and I love that about me but it isolates me.
How can I feel so alone in a world full of people?
How can I feel like no one can see my soul?
I have never mourned that loss. I pushed it down way deep inside of me, hoping it would go away.
Today, I mourn! Though I wish him success and honest, sincere, and true love, I will mourn what will never be. I mourn the separation of two souls that really, truly understood each other.